Slim Shady the LP
[static and then announcer]
meet Eddy. 23 years old. fed up with life, and the way
he decides to rob a liquor store. but on his way in , he
has a sudden
change of heart, and his conscience comes into play.
now before you walk in the door of this liqour store and
get money out
you better think of the consequences. (oh who are you?)
i'm ya mothafuckin' conscience.
that's nonsense.go in and gaffle the money and run to one
and borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs.
tell her you need a place to stay.
you'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with an aged
yeah but if it all goes through like it's supposed to,
the whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you.
think about it before you walk in the door first.
look at the store clerk , she's older than George Burns.
fuck that! do that shit! shoot that bitch!
can you afford to blow this shit!? are you that rich!?
why do you give a fuck if she dies!? are you that bitch!?
do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids!?
man , don't do it, it's not worth to risk it! (you're right!)
not over this shit! (stop!) drop the biscuit.(i will!)
don't even listen to slim , yo'. he's bad for you.
you know what Dre? i don't like your attitude.
(break/static then announcer)
-" it's alright, c'mon just come in here for a minute"
meet Stan. 21 years old. after meeting a young girl at a
rave party ,
things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.
once again , his conscience comes into play.
now listen to me. while you kissin' her cheek , and smearin'
i slipped this in her drink.
now all you gotta do nibble on this bitch's ear lobe.
yo! this girl is only fifteen years old.
you shouldn't take advantage her, that's not fair!
yo'. look at a bush.. does it got hair?
fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare.
til she passes out and forgot how she got there.
man , ain't you ever see that one movie "Kids"?
no, but i've seen the porno' with SunDoobiest!
shit, you wanna get sent hard off to jail.
man , fuck that. hit that shit raw dawg and bail.
-sound of car keys and car door slamming shut-
meet Grady. a 29 year old construction worker.
after coming home from a hard day of work ,
he walks in the door of his trailor park home ,
to find his wife in bed with another man.
-"WHAT THE FUCK!!??"-
alright, calm down start breathin'!
fuck that shit! you just caught your bitch cheatin'!
while you at work , she's with some dude tryin' to get off!!??
fuck slittin' her throat , CUT THIS BITCHE'S HEAD OFF!!!
wait! what if there's an explanation for this shit?
what? she tripped , fell , landed on his dick!?
alright shady! maybe he's right.
grady but think anbout the baby before you get all crazy.
okay! thaught about it , still wanna stab her?
grab her by the throat , get your daughter and kid-nap her!?
that's what i did , be smart don't be a retard.
you gonna take advice from some one who slapped Dee Barnes!!?
d- what you say?
e- what's wrong? didn't think i would remember?
d- i'm gonna kill you mothafucka!
temper temper! mr.dre? mr. N.W.A.?
mr. AK comin' straight out of Compton , ya'll better make
how the fuck i'm i gonna tell this man to be violent!?
cuz he don't need to go the same route that i went.
been there , done that.. aw , fuck it...
what am i sayin? shoot em both Grady!
where's your gun at?
(gun shot two times)